Maybe this will satisfy (at least temporarily) all you content-cravers out there. Well, for 15 minutes at least.

I’ve had this “Allan Cooke Named BMX Brand Manager at Haro” tab open on my browser for God knows how long. (No earlier than May 15th, I suppose.) It’s a pretty pointless “article,” because it’s just the press release. In other words, EXPN doesn’t even tell you whether all of Haro’s riders will have to learn Cookebacks in order to stay on the team, or whether Allan will have to start dressing like an adult at some point. But I did greatly enjoy the following paragraph:

“I am very excited about the addition of this bright young talent to our BMX group” said Joe Hawk, Haro’s Chief Operating Officer. “Allan brings a fresh new approach and a unique collection of skillsets; when combined with the talents of the current Product Development team, it will ensure that Haro maintains its edge as the leader in BMX for years to come.”

Now, I don’t know who Joe Hawk is, although that sounds like a hell of a porn name. What I do know is, in order to maintain your edge as the leader in BMX, you have to be the leader to begin with. And, unless I woke up in 1986 today, I have my doubts.

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